Anything But Fine

Put up a mask,

don't let them see through the big grins and,

white lies,

I'm fine.

That's what I tell them at least,

over and over,

a record player on repeat,

I'm fine.

Put on a show,

smile wider,

laugh louder,

be happier,

I'm fine.

Stop, stop,

finally alone,

I can stop pretending,

put my mask down,

let it all out,

cry.

I don't have long though,

the show must go on,

my mask is up,

I'm fine.

Toothy smiles that don't reach my eyes,

but they don't notice,

they don't know,

I'm fine.

Calling out greetings,

sharing jokes,

more lies, more masquerades,

when will it end,

when can I truly honestly say,

I'm fine?